Objects in Mirror Are Closer Than They Appear

The other day I was sitting in the car when I read this phrase in the side view mirror. There was nothing special about it per se as I had come across that on numerous occasions earlier too. But somehow this time around, it tickled my mind differently. The engraving read: Objects in mirror are closer than they appear.

It got me thinking that our life is not much different. We live believing we have time. We know that we won’t get the lost time back, we know that it’s slipping out of our hands like a slippery fish. And yet we scamper through our days like we have all the time on the planet. After all, if we didn’t believe that, most of us wouldn’t procrastinate, we wouldn’t put off the important things in life hoping to get to them someday, but we do. 

What makes a good life good? While each to their own, we can certainly increase the odds so the scale of fortune tips in your favor. It’s like this: nothing can guarantee that we will never fall ill, but we can eat healthy and exercise regularly to avoid lifestyle diseases. Similarly, while life offers no guarantees of any kind at all, it cannot prevent us from making the most of it. 

It boils down to cultivating the right attitude, the holistic kind that’s conducive to harmony, happiness and growth. To that effect, there are five considerations to developing such an attitude. As follows:

1. Take Ownership

Good lifers and great leaders have one thing in common: they take ownership. They are decisive and unafraid of owning up to their mistakes. Never be afraid to step up when you err. Yes, you may take a hit on your reputation and maybe self-esteem too, but it will give you the courage to remain steadfast and truthful. It will flush you with energy and confidence. Above all, it will prevent your mind from rambling and cooking up stories where we mistakenly hold others responsible for our shortcomings. It’s very simple at the end of the day: whatever be the reason, if I have performed an action, I’m responsible for it.

1. Objects in mirror are closer than they appear

The titular theme of this post, none of us has as much time as we think we do. Any day, date or time that sounds too distant in the future to you will be at the threshold of your life before you know it. Life is happening right now. And it is entirely up to you to deploy your present in a way that it befits your dreams and goals. I feel it helps to remember that our life is not going to turn out much different over the next decade if we don’t start doing something remarkably different today. 

1. Learn to Handle Conflict

Whether it is about handling the conflict between head and heart or with another individual or ideology, you will find that it’s a daily occurrence. Some people go through an entire lifetime without realizing that you can’t always avoid or live without conflict. The mistake we often make is to stomp our way through a confrontation. As William James wrote, “Whenever you’re in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude.” 

Just how we’ve learned reading, writing, driving etc, handling conflict can be learned too. And I cannot stress enough how rewarding it is to master the art of conflict resolution. 

1. Stay Relevant

In an ever-changing world, we can either dwell upon how amazing it was in the past and how awesome you were at something at some point in time. Or, you can work on what you can do today so you are of use to the world. Whether we like it or not, if we want to be loved more, we have to be of greater use. By “use” I don’t necessarily mean that the world will take advantage of you but the truth remains that for others to like you, they need to find you relevant in their lives. 

The other reward of staying relevant is that you keep benefitting from the joy of learning. Your mind does not become rusty, you don’t become bitter and above all, you remain humble. Ever seen grumpy old people? It’s usually because they have stopped learning or aspiring for anything in life. (On the other hand recount a happy old person. You will discover that they are still curious about things and, as a result, have zest for life.)

1. Trust the Process

Just because things aren’t going according to us doesn’t always mean that things are bad. If you are determined, open-minded, and persistent, you will be amazed at what all becomes possible. We are a tiny cell in the universal body. Sure, like any such cell we have local intelligence and instincts, but the whole is far bigger than the sum of parts. Sometimes we have to let life unfold and not crush the possibility with our fears and preferences. As Churchill once said, “Sometimes when Fortune scowls most spitefully, she is preparing her most dazzling gifts.”

I guess even if the gifts are not dazzling, at least, we know that the game is on. And while it lasts, it doesn’t have to be a dud, it can be mighty adventurous.

Mulla Nasrudin was walking along an alleyway one day when a man fell from a roof and landed on top of him. The other man was unhurt but Mulla was taken to the hospital.“What teaching do you infer from this event, Mulla?” one of his disciples asked him.“Avoid belief in inevitability, even if cause and effect seem inevitable,” Mulla said. “Shun theoretical questions like: ‘If a man falls off a roof, will his neck be broken?’ He fell — but my neck is broken!” ¹

That’s all from me for now, and I’ll leave you to it so you may carry on with your journey. Drive carefully though, for, objects in the mirror are closer than they appear.

Peace.
Swami